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Friday, January 22, 2010

Just call me Cupid...

Today on the light rail, I helped somebody.  I am a good person.  That and it just means I should believe my horoscope since it told me today I would help somebody, but I should watch to satisfy my own needs.

Check it. Here's how it went down.  As usual, I'm texty mctextface in the morning on my phone..maybe not texting but tweeting.  It was quiet today...I mean REALLY quiet.  Half of the people sitting were asleep.  I contemplated falling asleep until a young man sitting across the aisle said "Excuse me..."
I looked up....
Sad sap: "Can I ask you a question?"
If I had a dollar for every time I've heard that question, I'd afford parking and not have to take the rail.....
Me: "Sure..."
Sad sap: "Well you seem like a pretty respectable girl and I need some advice"
Soo wearing a UT shirt makes you respectable, obviously.
Me: "ok...not sure how much help I'll be..."
Sad sap: "You see there's this girl and I'm pretty sure she wants me but I aint one of dos dudes that just in it for the booty, ya get me?  How do I show the girl I'm suave and a gentleman?"
I'm probably the LAST person on earth you ask Love advice from.....
Me: " could always bring her flowers...or do what you normally do to girls..."
Sad sap: "I dunno..she's a trip and may not like the flowers and this one is fiesty."
What does this guy want me to say??? I don't know how to pick up people..I'll talk to anybody, obvi.
Me: "ummmmm..maybe if you just take her on a date and act like a real gentlemen she'll see who you are..."
I mean, that would work for me...but I also don't like assholes like this chick seeems to..
Sad sap: "I guess I could try that. You're right...I think that'll work.  I'll take her to dinner instead of the club!"
Did he REALLY just say that with that much enthusiasm????
Me: "Good luck."
Sad sap: "Yeah I usually go to the club with girls but maybe I could try something new like a dinner date! I'll take her somewhere nice like Olive Garden or somethin..."
I have a blank stare on my face at this point.
Me: "I'm sure it'll work out fine..goodbye."

I get off the rail in complete confusion.  Do people really think going to the club is a date?  what.the.heck.

Moral of the Story:
Whereas The definition of "Date": Two people getting together for an activity when the possibility of romance between them has been broached but not ruled out. Since the exploration of romance is the purpose of a date, merely asking someone out on a date is sufficient to broach the subject. Dates may or not continue once a couple have entered into a romantic relationship; and

Whereas The word "date" may be used to identify a get together between two people not romantically involved, but this usage is meant to convey irony, since such a meeting is not a date in the true sense of the word; and

Whereas It's perfectly acceptable for a girl to ask a boy out on a date; and

Whereas Dating advice comes best from Dr. Loving and not K So.

Therefore Be it Resolved You cannot take a girl just to a club on a date.


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