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Wednesday, March 3, 2010

All my friends know the low rider

Today on the lightrail, a man told me his whole life story.  Let us begin....

It started at the lightrail platform.  The man in the blue jacket told me good morning and told me to have a good day.  He was conversing with another man so I left them alone.  When the train arrived, I happened to find a seat across from the man in the blue jacket.

ChattyCathy: "Feels like we're in a low rider, huh?"
I don't understand why this man feels this way...I mean the train is WAY higher than the cars on the street..w.t.f.
Me: "hehehe"
ChattyCathy: "Man I feels like I'm back in Los Angeles. I use to have lots of friends out dat way. We be ridin around in the low riders. Those were the days, yaknowwhatimsayin? We had not a care in the world but ridin around in the low riders. They was so close to the ground and you know in LA that kinna messes up da car.  We jus rode around all day lookin all fly.  Man back then I use to think I was God's gift to women.  Those were the good days.  But then I grew up and now look at me.  I could afford to loose some pounds huh?
I giggle a bit.  There's a slight silence...I mean in like 2 seconds TOPS.
ChattyCathy: "You goin to work?"
Me: "yes sir"
ChattyCathy: "Where at?"
Me: "The med school.  I do research."
ChattyCathy: "Man I jus got back from a research project.  You know is a big company called Pioneer.  They do lots of arth-a-ritis research and what have you. Yeah day putchu up in a place for a week and they be runnin on these tests on me.  You know it's a trillion dollar company.  They be foreign though so they have all these drugs they don't have ready over here, yaknowwhatimsayin?  Is a good company. Is bigger than Ben Taub and all dos companies and they make good drugs. I had to go because I cracked my ankle in like a thousand pieces, yaknowhatimsayin.  So what happens is day give you dis medicine and it's really strong and it lets the pain go away but right when you take it, you hear noises in your head..and maaannn I don't like dem noises.  It goes on for about 5 minutes and it's just crazy.  But when the noises go away, ain't no mo pain.  You see, I hurt my ankle playin basketball.  I usually land on two feet after I jump but somehow I landed on jus 1 and my foot was all twisted around and I could hear all dem bones just break right den.  So I went to da hospital at Ben taub and man they hadn't seen anything like it.  They had to fly a doctor from UMT down in Galveston (sidenote, he meant UTMB...) in a helicopter but when he got there hes like "man you prolly aint gonna be able to walk again".  But I know God had a plan for me to get on with the rest of my life.  And by the grace of God I can walk and I'm here witchu today, yaknowwhatimsayin."
I just continue smiling and nodding my head.
ChattyCathy's phone rings.  He turns to the man from the platform who is now sitting behind me.
ChattyCathy: "Man, why she be callin me today? I ain't payin no mo for that kid."
He turns back to me to explain, obviously.
ChattyCathy: "This girl. She be wantin me to buy her alcohol all da time..."
Me: "It's not even 9 am?"
ChattyCathy: "I see I don't drink.  And there's just somethings you women do that aren't right fo yo man.  It's her decision for her to drink but she gots a problem."
Phone rings again...
ChattyCathy: "hang on, Imma take dis."
He's on the phone for a few minutes...we're quickly approaching his stop...I just know he's getting off at the Hermann stop...
ChattyCathy: " I love the woman but MAN..she just needs to stop bugging me about stuff, yaknowwhatimsayin? Anyways..I gotsta get off now but you have a great day."
Me: "You too."

Moral of the story: It feels more like a monster truck when you're on the train, not a low rider.

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